*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Catholic 'Public' schools

I work in an anachronism, a public Catholic school board in a suburb of Toronto.  There is no way these should still exist (nor should I have been dumb enough to have taken the job...) and the UN has commented, for what little that is worth.  The idiocy never ends as the, satirized but fundamentally accurate, email below explains.  I have also shortened it considerably, because I am not an ass that works in PR off the public teat.

From: Head of Public Relations for the suburban Catholic public school boardTo: all school board staffRe: throw the results of the Government's survey on public education, even though your front-line jobs would be assured in an amalgamation of public Catholic and regular public school boards, but mine may not...
The Ontario government has an online survey asking the public for opinions about improving education.  Heaven forbid they should get accurate results, or realize that our board is an asinine thing to have at all, a minority of the families in it take their children to mass (as is true for staff), and that the writing's on the wall as such boards have disappeared in other provinces.   
I am asking you to go on the survey as a 'private citizen' and skew the result any way that you can, as if that would alter the truth of the thing.  Look, every other province that has done this has retained all the positions below superintendent, where people do anything like education, but not a position like mine: a Golgafrincham.  I did my best to get out of the classroom to be a bureaucrat, fuck all of you and your children and protect me!

NB: I ask you to volunteer to do this, but on your own time and home computer, so that we can deny we threw the results, and pretend you did this as a private citizen.

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