*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Toronto Challenge!

Complete a TTC trip without seeing something important malfunction or broken. Today's fails: Presto reader, subway doors. Haven't even got to the second station!

Look at any Toronto marketing without a baleful laugh.  Today, the TTC 'subway' map.  The 'Airport Express' is a fucking bus on a public road, not to mention that numbering the lines is sad when you have two, dated from the middle of last century; #3 is a stub run on obsolete technology that will be changed to a streetcar, and #4 is four stops to nowhere, but Ikea.

Drive, cross a road or cycle without murderous rage at the hybrid of selfishness, gross incompetence and inattention that is the Toronto driver.

Endure winter temperatures without annoyance at the fact that there's no good come from our winters: there are no hills, the snow is too inconsistent for Nordic skiing, as it is for outdoor skating, unless the rink surface is artificially cooled (and all parks ban skating on ponds, even during a long cold snap, because imagined liability). 

Locate any 'eye-candy' (any gender or ethnicity).  There isn't any of age, and little enough too young: obesity and sloth the norm.


  1. OK, Toronto is scratched from the list of places I'd like to live in the future.

    Actually, it was never on it, but as a person with Canadian citizenship who has never lived in Canada, I thought that it should've at least been given some consideration. If I do head north (after heading back west), I'll likely make it British Columbia.

  2. Montréal, bien sûr!

    Vancouver housing/rental is so expensive, there's no money left to ski, etc. Besides, wet snow is $#!+, as is the winter rain in the city. Ideally one would have Québec City architecture, Rockies skiing, Squamish rock climbing, Montréal living and affordability, Georgian Bay sailing and kayaking, Ontario/Québec canoeing... You will note Toronto appears nowhere as a city on this list. Montréal hits the most markers in whole or in part, so long as you can find work there, and put up with the Péquiste nonsense.

  3. "Locate any 'eye-candy' (any gender or ethnicity). There isn't any of age, and little enough too young: obesity and sloth the norm."
    A teacher was just in trouble for the 'too young' about a year ago at the high school I am currently working at. Eye-candy is hard to come by... even the ones not of age. I am sure you have heard me rag about the size and stench of the youth these days.

    "Drive, cross a road or cycle without murderous rage at the hybrid of selfishness, gross incompetence and inattention that is the Toronto driver."
    I try to avoid driving but as I have mentioned we have shit for public transportation. And pedestrians are in constant danger due to the idiot drivers here.

    It's sad living in North America...

    1. "It's sad living in North America..."

      It really is, most of all because only the 1 and 9% can afford to live in a 'walkable neighbourhood', but they drive anyway.

      As for the too young, every man has some measure of ephebophilia, including gay men for 'twinks', but quite apart from professionalism and basic morality, I could not imagine having to endure any time speaking with any woman under thirty for any length of time. No matter how simple the terms of a relationship, you often have to converse.

      I work in elementary to junior high, and have no disturbances that make that employment any issue. Nevertheless, I returned to living in Toronto from living in its 'burbs near work, so that I'd be around far more adult women than teens any kind of attractive. The thing is, when the 'male gaze' is starved of appropriate subjects, it considers looking at the inappropriate, and that is time to get out of the 'burbs!

  4. Ha, lack of eye candy? Come and live here. Unless you have a geriatric fetish, you are doomed. Actually, a lot of the oldies are doing better than the youngsters but then, it's the kind of town anyone with even a pinch of ambition moves out straight after high school.

    We saw a hot Asian guy the other day and it was a total shock - not just his hotness but at seeing an non-white.