*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

I give up; they stink.

No, not all Japanese.  'That's racist.'  The women have almost no scent to speak of, apart from hair-care products (except mothballs for the old - Jesus).  Nor do all of the men, but good Christ a goodly portion of them!
I have said that it smells better on Japanese trains (Chris told me I am wrong), and maybe it did in the 90s during my first-impression.  NowFuck...

A forty minute ride today, and what did I smell?  Flatulence, pomade, the fecal-fug of middle-aged men who, even if I believed they had a bath the night before, cannot remember when they last dry-cleaned their suit, halitosis from more than one direction, at least one of which must have been an abscess, groin (I didn't want to think about it, and wasn't near anyone's), and the usual burr of Japan Tobacco's shitty products.  No alcohol yet, as it was noon.  That treat waits another hour.

If you stink by noon at a 'white-collar' job, there is something wrong with you.  Deodorant, dry-cleaning, and keeping your abscess-filled trap shut would go a long way.  And no, I don't care if you got home late from being pointless, you must bathe once a day.  Bathing at night is good for your marriage, but bathing in the morning is appreciated by the rest of us.


  1. Man....like I said that bus ride to the Ala Moana stop was brutal and my 1st intro into the "Huh?..what is deodorant?" society...of Japan. Listen, I take a shower at night and in the morning but in the morning without fail. Japanese bathe at night...sweat in the August night and then wake up and go through an entire work day before seeing soap again...it boggles my fucking mind and they fucking stink.

  2. I was really amazed when I found out how infrequently men dryclean suits. Especially in summer. Sure you wear a shirt under it but still... plus being going out to izakaya after work, eating and all that.

    I never really noticed the smell that much on Japanese trains and hey, you really get the junkie that pissed themselves... three days ago! But I hated the middle aged dudes who try to sleep on you and they use that greasy hair oil. Always worried I'd end up with a grease spot on my shoulder.

    1. An oyaji wears his suit as many weeks as I do days before cleaning: and he wears his fifteen hours of the day, does not bathe in the morning, smokes, and is drunk in it more often. Feh!

      I forgot to note the stink of pomade. Added.

  3. The Toyoko Line on Friday nights, anytime after 9:00, can be pretty bad...

    I rarely sit on trains anymore. Not just because of the people who might end up sitting next to me, but also because of what might have soaked into the seat...

  4. Replies
    1. So that's it! Actually, it's the bodily fug that makes me homicidal on trains. "Enka for the damned" is pure poetry!

  5. Good god I wouldn't last!
    I had a hard time last week when 2 people were talking 5 feet away from me and I could smell their rank teeth rot breath ugh!!! I could only imagine someone closer to me with that smell mixed with all the others.

    As for groin... I have sat in a work meeting where I could honest to god smell funky ball sweat. Like homie didn't wash right or at all. Maybe I can get an odor cancelling respirator device for when I do have to visit the in-laws in Japan.

    1. We all have bad breath, sometimes, but that particular odour of death... no. I swear by a tongue-cleaner, too, and floss as daily as dentists say, so I may be OCD.