My wife and I had to use a Starbucks, because our end of town sucks. She had coupons, including one for a macchiato. So I ordered a double-macchiato.
Sir, you can't have a macchiato with that (coupon). You have to have one of the Starbucks machiattos [sic.] like a 'caramel-latte-machiatto'.There are only three coffees: black, espresso, or espresso with very little milk-foam, none mixed in by the barista. If you want a fucking milkshake, knock yourself out, but don't call it coffee.
... Just get me a tall dark.