*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
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Thursday, 5 March 2015

I want my Dick Tracy watch, damnit!


So much nonsense about smartwatches lately, most of which are shitty accessories to smartphones.  Each of them is ugly as, and needs a charge every day.  That is to say, they are not as reliable as a watch, do not look as good as a decent watch, nor do much more and naught more without a phone nearby.  Do anything off such a small interface?

Why has only Pebble figured out the obvious: e-ink screen for battery life, and plastic is shit? 

Almost interested: why's the bezel wasting so much viewable space?  Someone needs to make the band also screen, but the bracelet form is a non-starter for men.  Homage must be paid to the classic form of the watch if it's going to be worn for anything but during exercise or sci-fi movies.

I realize the purpose of capitalism is to sell value-added products to idiots for a premium; nevertheless, what I want to buy is a replacement to my phone, not an augmentation to it of dubious usefulness.  The next frontier is make the watch central, and larger display devices the peripheral. I've had to run with my smartphone. It'd be nice to leave it behind, but maintain connectivity.  This company's trying, but until a big player does...

In summary, make me a watch:
- with long battery life
- is the phone
- has a large screen extended to the band
- looks appropriate for an adult to wear
- links easily to touchscreens for a larger interface
- has an ergonomic solution to calls in public

This is why I am not an 'early adopter' or the target market.  A smartwatch that replaced a smartphone would be at cross-purposes to selling more tat, in the minds of sellers.  It's a stupid way to think for Android and Windows phones*, but makes sense for the marketing company pretending to be a computer company - Apple.  My phone is Samsung, my TV is LG as is my wife's phone, my wife's tablet is some Docomo D-Tab Chinese POS, my laptop is HP and my wife's Dell, and I had a Kindle once:  Android users are not loyal.  Apple can pull this shit, but Android makers have to make their device a better replacement than everyone else's, such as a watch that replaces a phone in an effective way.

*As I've never seen a Windows phone in the wild, I don't believe they exist; just as I believe Blackberry is extinct.

6 comments:

  1. Seems like with years to anticipate this kind of watch, they've really screwed the pooch. If I'm going to strap anything on my wrist, it had better not look like some bastardized G-shock. Fuck, I hate digital watches anyway...

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    1. A smartwatch that replaced a smartphone would be at cross-purposes to selling more tat, in the minds of sellers. It's a stupid way to think for Android and Windows phones*, but makes sense for the marketing company pretending to be a computer company - Apple. My phone is Samsung, my TV is LG as is my wife's phone, my wife's tablet is some Docomo D-Tab Chinese POS, my laptop is HP and my wife's Dell, and I had a Kindle once: Android users are not loyal. Apple can pull this shit, but Android makers have to make their device a better replacement than everyone else's, such as a watch that replaces a phone in an effective way.


      *As I've never seen a Windows phone in the wild, I don't believe they exist; just as I believe Blackberry is extinct.

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  2. Exactly. When smart watches came out, I was all over that shit until I read about them. I don't want a watch to control the music player on my phone or any of that other shit. I want it to replace my phone. Hell, I don't even want a phone at all. Talking to people is so 20th century. I want to be able to listen to music, send messages and do some other basic shit. I'm not sure how music would work from a phone, maybe would need some kind of bluetooth headphones or the like.

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    1. Idiots in Toronto talk on their phones! In public! On headsets! A bit hard to take the 'dasai' after Tokyo, but it's mirrored in how they dress and all other matters of taste.

      As for the rare and discrete call, for the phone a headset would be the way to go, and the Samsung I linked to has one as an option. Correctly done, the headset would play your music and calls, making the phone-smartwatch all you'd need on the go, running, etc.; however, the screen would have to extend to much of the band without being fugly, or the bulk of a huge battery. At the moment, I can only see e-paper working for this.

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    2. The Japanese attitude to phone use is definitely one of the things you miss. I've had to work so hard to resist the impulse to grab people's phones and throw them out the train door at times.People should keep a bit of mystery about themselves.

      For running, I think the best option I've seen was one of the older (non-smart) AU phones that I had a suica function - not only could you catch the train but use it to get a bottle of water out of the vending machine! I really wanted one of those phones.

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    3. The Japanese can piss me off, but with the exception of how infrequently their men dry-clean their suits, by the smell of evening trains, they do not often disgust me by their person as Torontonians.

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