*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Monday, 22 November 2010

National Pulchritude

This is going to be hard to write without being vulgar, so I am going to make it about both genders, rather than some vulgar itemization of orientalist conquest, like "Pictures from the Water Trade". You can make your time in Japan much like that book. In fact, if you are a man in his twenties who got too little attention in high school and university (alas), I can assume you will. For foreign women, it shouldn't be much harder, but you'll have to take the initiative. If you prefer your own gender and can find where to go, you'll get as lucky as you could want.

There are people who have a preference for Asians, and they are not all straight men. I know a Francophone who makes Japanese men his specialty. Some idiots think Japanese women are a cross between 'Butterfly' and 'office-lady' porn, but they'll have their comeuppance when they find that the 'way to cure a nymphomaniac is to marry her'. She'll also find that this 'ladies-first' boyfriend may not keep up the habit. Just like at home, you have to drive a lot of cars before you find the one that suits your driving habits; then bargain down!

But face it; a crowd in Japan is better looking than a crowd in Anglo countries. Most of this has nothing to do with 'race'. Most of it has to do with obesity and sloth in Anglo countries. Have you watched a news programme from the Anglosphere in the late fifties? Why does everyone look so good? It's not because they kept non-whites out of the frame (most non-whites look better), but because everyone was thirty pounds lighter than you are. Sure, they all smoked and drank, but they looked great. Just like Japan! They all dressed with more care. Just like Japan! They all had discrete affairs. Just like Japan! We squandered the talents of women and minorities. Just like Japan! Do you know how you can tell a resident Gaijin from a visitor Gaijin? The resident has: lost weight, is dressed decently (and has a hangover). The visitor is: obese, wearing a ball-cap and fanny-pack (and spent the evening with his own wife). And for god's sake, don't wear shorts as casual clothing if you are old enough to drink.

So here's a thought if you aren't getting much: get off your @$$ regularly, put your clothes through the laundry and under an iron, and get out and drink more. You can't do much about the DNA you've had donated, but you can work with what you've got. As for those who have a thing for NE Asian DNA? Sure the better part are living under some orientalist delusion, some have a preference for the physical-type, and even a few of these like adult women. After all, nothing says every man needs to prefer hemispherical bottle-blonds (but if you are one, you can make some Japanese guy really happy). Besides taking more care about their appearance, a Japanese crowd is full of people with less body hair, smoother skin, glossy tresses, little grotesque steatopygia and a minimum of cellulite. God knows we can't compete with that. It's certainly worth eschewing voluminous orbs of female secondary-sexual characteristics to get at some.

1 comment:

  1. You've hit the nail on the head. I've tried explaining this issue to many. Is it too much to care about your physical appearance and coordinate your clothes?