*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Presenting Japanese Women's Legs
So let's start from the picture: shorts in winter are stupid! It's 5C in the evenings, and young women are dressed like this? I'm fond enough of the legs not to mind (in women older than this 'bait) but goose-pimpled and wind-chapped is not a good look. Even with the women clever enough to wear full-length leggings you have to ask, why didn't you wear trousers? Then there's a style that has not disappeared since the mid-nineties: 'fuck me boots'. I'll leave it to my partner-in-crime Mr. Sh., speaking to one of his high school students: "Noriko, maybe if you covered your @$$ from the top down, instead of the bottom up, you wouldn't have a cold all winter."
The sad truth is that the shorts in winter, the 'fuck me boots' and the heels are because too many women here are self-conscious that they have short legs. Well, many do in fact, but nobody's perfect. I'm balding, but %$#@ it. I've said it before, but the average crowd here is a lot better looking than in N. America, though many N. Americans have comparatively long legs. For god's sake use what you have, not poorly accentuate what you don't.
Heels solve no problems that poorly walking in them doesn't worsen, and damned few women here can walk in heels. Maybe this is because it is behaviour not learned here. I don't know. I do know that it has nothing to do with skeletal morphology, because I have known a Brazilian-Japanese and a French-Vietnamese who walked like they were Brazilian, and French... Where was I... ? There are three reasons that many Japanese women ought to put away the heels: the third who are pigeon-toed, the two-thirds who buy their shoes too large, and the pump-walk. I have only just noticed that most women's heels are too large. The slap-slap should have been a hint. Perhaps this is connected to the pump-walk (walking as if you wear flip-flops), or to facilitate the national footwear changing obsession. If you're born pigeon toed you should be smart enough to wear other shoes. If you affect pigeon toes... you have a lot of company in Japan. Otherwise, buy the right size and stride; don't pump.