*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Κυνόσαργες

Thursday 8 September 2011

Yeah Gaijin-Rage!

I had... not my first... over the top Gaijin-Rage, last night.  Where else?  Why else?  On the train, reacting to some dick's %$#@ed behaviour.  This Gaijin-Rage was unique, because it was 'out of body'.  It happened on its own and so without any of my own volition that I was as much a spectator as the locals. I had been riding the train after three beer for a few stops, standing among the drunks who had not bathed since the night before, as is the custom despite sleeping without air-conditioning in the awful humidity.  I wasn't in a mood to take $#!+, and I might add that I do not give $#!+ to anyone myself, because I'm not a dick.  Even if I were a dick I would avoid giving it to someone larger than me, and better at fighting: from a 'salaryman's' perspective that is most any Gaijin (white, 6' and Canadian, unlike the picture).

@$$hat tries to steal my seat!  A seat came up empty, and no $#!+head had shoved aside a pregnant or ancient woman to steal it, so it stood empty for a few seconds.  I grabbed my bag, stood immediately in front of it, and put my bag above the seat.  Such a clear message, I gave it no more thought.  No more thought until some あほtried to jump, Matrix-like, into my seat from somewhere off to the side.  Typically, he had on his J-blinders and tunnel vision, and his J-robot empathy-void.  Last thing I remember thinking before I reacted was, "There's no %$#@ing way this will pass!" I had a book in my right, but with the back of my fist I shoved him back no less than a metre, and hollered,
%$#@ you @$$hole!  That's my %$#@ing seat!
I don't know which is more relevant: I wouldn't do that for just myself in Toronto, because the fight wouldn't be worth the seat; I'd never need to do it in Toronto, because people may be frigid, but not utter tools!

After all, what was the %$#@wit going to do about it?  Fight?  Call his wife to rescue him?  Too many Tokyo 'men' don't have a hint of iron in them.  They've also not learned the first rule of the school yard: don't start $#!+ you can't finish.  He gave me a red-faced, slack-jawed, accusatory look.  I gave him a 'Gallic Shrug', as if to say, "just what do you imagine you're going to do?" The answer, of course, was skulk off somewhere to imagine that he'd been done a wrong by a violent Gaijin.  Now that I think about it, I had a lot more sitting room given me than I usually get...

3 comments:

  1. Wound up at this post by mistake...looking for the Costco link...not sorry I stopped by. Good material.

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    Replies
    1. Nice. Thanks for making us gaijin look worse. 6 feet tall, really? In Canada that usually means 5'9"

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    2. How is your comment on height useful, even if you were correct? Why don't you just go straight to 'Godwin's Law'?

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