*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Do not fuck with my coffee, or my right of way.


  1. I keep my coffee beans in the fridge. I'd like to put them in the freezer, but there isn't that much space and that's where the first emergency packet of ready-ground is kept. The second emergency packet (the stuff I bought from a conbini when I was desperate) is kept in the cupboard under the sink.

    There's also a tiny jar of instant in the baking cupboard, but that's just for flavouring cakes. And maybe for washing down all the paracetamol if I ever lose the will to live completely.

  2. I drink coffee like I used to drink beer...in one guzzle and way too many to be healthy. I have gone into caffeine rages and made no sense. Atleast with booze I was just saying "fuck it" and letting my fists fly...with coffee sometimes I don't even know what's aggravating me?

  3. Chris, I have the feeling there ain't much you do half-way. I don't get that coffee effect. I get to a perked up plateau, and the rest is just hydration.

    Kamo, I have read so much about the right/wrong way to handle coffee I don't know what I believe, though I still hold strong opinions (?). I love that you have three stashes going. Try very fine coffee grounds in the cake. Trust me.

    I have a grinder, and it makes a difference, but I've only got that kind of time weekends, by which time whole beans would be stale. In a perfect world I'd drink decent pre-ground drip weekday mornings, and fire-up a proper espresso machine (not less than $500, or don't bother... so I don't have one) with home roasted and ground coffee, weekends or evenings. So in Canada or Japan I use a 'moka'* at home, but in Toronto I can go out for something better - not so easily here on the NE edge of Tokyo.

    I have more on coffee at this old post: http://hanlonsrzr.blogspot.com/2011/05/bitter-about-toronto-baristas.html


  4. 1. buy very small packages of small beans. Fresh is fresher.
    2. smell the beans before grinding. This is called foreplay. Foreplay makes sex better.
    3. grind the beans. Yes, you do have the time. Every day.
    4. fire up a proper espresso machine. Yes, Dreams Do Matter.
    5. Have Capital C Coffee. Or have Sex. The one does not exclude the other. But do not settle for lesser variants.

  5. 'Bigger', I respect all five points, and used to follow most, but I have lived four decades, had an infant throwing temper tantrums over his dreams last night, and sometimes you just need a stimulant.

    However, to alter a Turkish saying: "Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and [smooth as waxed]."

  6. stimulants, ah, yes... (puts on dreamy face).