*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Bah humbug, Japan.

I don't care anymore that Christmas Eve's a date night to eat KFC, and I can't get a goose for love or money.

Ho ho ho, my little elf.

I screwed up my order to 'the Meat Guy', so wasn't getting a duck: stuck with turkey.  I found three frozen turkeys at Niku-no-hanamasa last week and was so proud of myself not having to chase one down, downtown.  "Too bad my wife's got our tiny freezer full of Japanese crap, but surely they'll still have one on Saturday."  No.

So, forced to go hunting for fowl today.  Seijo-Ishii was, as expected, entirely a waste of time, but it was where I had to change trains for Hiro-o anyway.  I loathe Hiro-o, and loathe 'international supermarkets' even a little more.  I scorn how 'international' is used in Japan: marketing. 'International' grocer National Azabu is more Japanese than international:
- small (wtf was the point of their renovation?)
- crowded
- expensive
- puny beef roasts poorly labelled
- no goose
- same frozen turkey as Niku-no-hanamasa, but in stock at least
- no Christmas pudding or fruitcake, or Christmas foods section... at Christmas!
- poor beer and spirits selection, and most wines from France (poor value) because that's what Japanese will buy

Fuck Japan.  Meat's not limited to boiling with cabbage, or cut into scraps drowned in salt and scorched.  Fuck the entire fucking archipelago for knowing nothing about roasts, ovens, baking, barbecue...  Umami my ass!


  1. Here here brother. I've given up on enjoying Christmas as I knew it before living here. It's far too much effort and money for things that really don't need to be that pricey or hard to find. I'd run a marathon if I were guaranteed a proper Christmas dinner here. White cake and KFC, bah humbug.

    1. Everything about living in Japan seems like a make-do, and I have a post in the works...

  2. I bought really good fruit cake at "Kaldi Coffee" the other day. Imported from France, it had something something "Normandy" written on it. Not that expensive, about 400 Yen for a small loaf.
    The store was in Lalaport Toyosu but I think you should find it at any Kaldi store around Tokyo.

  3. Thanks Stephane, I'd never seen one there.

    Scott, quite. Strawberry shortcake, WTF? J-wife asked me today which (Japanese) Christmas cake to get, waving a flyer at me. Told her to let the boy choose as it was no Christmas pudding.

  4. I used to enjoy that brisket was sold cheap where I live because it was seen as a tough piece of garbage. I am amazed at how meat can be so abused and blamed for being bad when the problem lies with the preparation and preparer.

    I hope you can get duck next year, your last year spread had me salivating.

    1. Next year is Canada! Mind you, we'll likely not be at our home, so have to eat what familials cook...

  5. I haven't had a xmas dinner like the ones I used to know in 10 years. I baked a couple of pumpkin pies last week and that was enough to remind me of what I've been missing. As long as my local Kaldi keeps canned pumpkin puree in stock, I'll continue to make them.
    Since it looks like I'll be here for at least one more xmas, I might start looking into getting a turkey for next year this year...