*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Starbucks 'Reserve': we've been had, of course.

It's for chumps, but for 'shits and giggles' thought I'd see how good a coffee sold by them is, that costs a pint of beer.
I do like a good cup of coffee, and I am willing to pay a premium for a premium product: to a point, not a fault.  Also, too much coffee in Japan in a fancified cafe is no better than from an automatic brewing machine: often worse, so it drives me to this chain.  Japan: process divorced from product, immunity to cognitive dissonance, the 'uncanny valley', and all that.  I'd just about kill for a cafe anywhere in Tokyo that could: make a machiatto with little foam, pull the espresso with any crema, and if they could do either of those without a bloody show.

The bloody show...  Rather charming onesan made this coffee for me, and rattled off the spiel in Japanese, corporate Starbucks has had scripted.  Good for her she found it about as silly as me, but hey, she had a job to do, and keep (and who can help enjoying an honest giggle from a girl half his age?).  Gave me the grounds to sniff before the machine did its voodoo.  And sure, it was good.

About as good as Starbucks coffee was five years ago...  Anyone else noticed the change?  I am no devotee - never was - but in less fashionable parts it was the more palatable option.  My palate has not aged so quickly.  That is to say, it's more likely the corporation found a way to skim money for cost-savings since most twats who go to Starbucks get something more masturbatory than my black coffee: 'venti no-fat caramel frapuccino', or such.  You want some coffee with your baby formula?

This snowflake knows when he's being had.


  1. Starbucks - I don't get it. They closed down in Aus because their coffee is considered second rate here. There's a couple still open but they are only for Asian tourists.

    Do people in Japan actually like coffee or do they just like the idea of drinking coffee? Because putting all that syrup and shit in a coffee is just wrong!

    1. Respect, Aus.

      Remember my J-wife and I saw a Starbucks on a corner in Lisbon: laughed aloud at the gumption. Near one of the more famous cafes with good coffee, and stellar pastries with custard.

      And hell, I am with you on the nonsense people order at Starbucks: drink coffee or drink milk with HFCS, but don't kid yourself.

  2. Damn just wrote a long ass response and comment system jerked me, hate that ish. Anyway, can't rewrite all of it, but the conclusion was if I find a decent cup of joe in these parts I will holler at ya. Damn I hate that ish smh

    1. Hey, a J-blogging celebrity! Sorry your comment got eaten.

      Segafredo's not bad (but nothing special in Toronto, Lisbon, Montreal or Vancouver, etc.), but none near where I live, work or play.


  3. While traveling in Germany I had many GOOD cups of coffee. I am a total coffee snob because if I am going to drink something that will invariably give me a stomachache it better at least taste good. I am not a daily coffee drinker, more like bi-monthly IF at all.

    I compare Starbucks to Frosted Flakes... they have to cover the corn flakes in sugar for most people to enjoy them. So in reality the folks that go to Starbucks 99% of the time are just ordering sugar water at an inflated price. I miss the mom n pop that had good coffee. There are more Starbucks than Mc D's where I live!