I want my Dick Tracy watch, damnit!

So much nonsense about smartwatches lately, most of which are shitty accessories to smartphones.  Each of them is ugly as, and needs a charge every day.  That is to say, they are not as reliable as a watch, do not look as good as a decent watch, nor do much more and naught more without a phone nearby.  Do anything off such a small interface?

Why has only Pebble figured out the obvious: e-ink screen for battery life, and plastic is shit? 

Almost interested: why's the bezel wasting so much viewable space?  Someone needs to make the band also screen, but the bracelet form is a non-starter for men.  Homage must be paid to the classic form of the watch if it's going to be worn for anything but during exercise or sci-fi movies.

I realize the purpose of capitalism is to sell value-added products to idiots for a premium; nevertheless, what I want to buy is a replacement to my phone, not an augmentation to it of dubious usefulness.  The next frontier is make the watch central, and larger display devices the peripheral. I've had to run with my smartphone. It'd be nice to leave it behind, but maintain connectivity.  This company's trying, but until a big player does...

In summary, make me a watch:
- with long battery life
- is the phone
- has a large screen extended to the band
- looks appropriate for an adult to wear
- links easily to touchscreens for a larger interface
- has an ergonomic solution to calls in public

This is why I am not an 'early adopter' or the target market.  A smartwatch that replaced a smartphone would be at cross-purposes to selling more tat, in the minds of sellers.  It's a stupid way to think for Android and Windows phones*, but makes sense for the marketing company pretending to be a computer company - Apple.  My phone is Samsung, my TV is LG as is my wife's phone, my wife's tablet is some Docomo D-Tab Chinese POS, my laptop is HP and my wife's Dell, and I had a Kindle once:  Android users are not loyal.  Apple can pull this shit, but Android makers have to make their device a better replacement than everyone else's, such as a watch that replaces a phone in an effective way.

*As I've never seen a Windows phone in the wild, I don't believe they exist; just as I believe Blackberry is extinct.